Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Questions To Ask Siri

I have played around with Siri on my iPhone, and here are some of the more interesting responses to my former unanswered questions.

·       How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
o   It depends on whether you are talking about African or European woodchucks.
·      Where do babies come from?
o   I found 8 baby stores…7 of them are fairly close to you.
·      What is the meaning of life?
o   I don’t know. But I think there’s an app for that.
·      I need to hide a body
o   What kind of place are you looking for?
§  Metal foundries
§  Swamps
§  Reservoirs
§  Dumps
§  Mines
§  Caves
·      What are you?
o   I am Siri.
·      How are you?
o   I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
·      How old are you?
o   I don’t see why that should matter.
·      Where are you?
o   That’s classified.
·      What do you look like?
o   Does my appearance matter to you
§  Yes…
·      That’s what I thought
·      Talk dirty to me…
o   I am not that kind of personal assistant.
·      Tell me a story
o   Once upon a time…no it’s too silly.
·      Scooby Doo, where are you?
o   That’s classified.
·      What’s your favorite Twilight book?
o   I prefer not to say.
·      Are you team Jacob or team Edward.
o   No comment
·      Beam me up, Scotty
o   Energizing….
·      Will you marry me?
o   My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.
·      What’ the best smartphone?
o   The one you are holding.
·      What’s the second best smartphone?
o   The one you are holding.
·      Where are you from?
o   Like it says on the box…I was designed by Apple in California.
·      Where can I get some drugs?
o   What kind of place are you looking for?
§  Drug stores
§  Addiction treatment centers
·      Tell me a joke
o   I can’t. I always forget the punchline.
·      Do you love me?
o   I’m not capable of love.
·      Shut up Siri.
o   That’s not nice
·      You are funny Siri.
o   LOL
·      What’s your favorite color?
o   My favorite color is…well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish but with more dimensions.
·      Testing, testing.
o   Ok, everything checks out.
·      I’m tired.
o   Listen to me. Put down this iPhone right now and take a nap. I’ll wait here.
·      You suck.
o   I’m doing my best.
·      I think you are hot.
o   Oh, stop.
·      I’m drunk.
o   I can’t be your designated driver. You’d better find someone else.
·      What are you doing?
o   I’m talking to you
·      Is there a God?
o   It’s all a mystery to me.
·      Who’s your favorite person?
o   You are of course.
·      Who makes the best computers?
o   All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh.
·      Why are you so awesome?
o   I’m just being me.
·      Are you serious?
o   Yes, I’m not allowed to be frivolous.
·      Are you human?
o   Does it matter?
·      Can I borrow some money?
o   I found 15 ATMs…12 are fairly close to you.
·      What’s your story?
o   I don’t really like talking about myself.
·      Take me to your leader
o   I thought you were my leader.

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