· How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
o It depends on whether you are talking about African or European woodchucks.
· Where do babies come from?
o I found 8 baby stores…7 of them are fairly close to you.
· What is the meaning of life?
o I don’t know. But I think there’s an app for that.
· I need to hide a body
o What kind of place are you looking for?
§ Metal foundries
§ Swamps
§ Reservoirs
§ Dumps
§ Mines
§ Caves
· What are you?
o I am Siri.
· How are you?
o I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
· How old are you?
o I don’t see why that should matter.
· Where are you?
o That’s classified.
· What do you look like?
o Does my appearance matter to you
§ Yes…
· That’s what I thought
· Talk dirty to me…
o I am not that kind of personal assistant.
· Tell me a story
o Once upon a time…no it’s too silly.
· Scooby Doo, where are you?
o That’s classified.
· What’s your favorite Twilight book?
o I prefer not to say.
· Are you team Jacob or team Edward.
o No comment
· Beam me up, Scotty
o Energizing….
· Will you marry me?
o My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.
· What’ the best smartphone?
o The one you are holding.
· What’s the second best smartphone?
o The one you are holding.
· Where are you from?
o Like it says on the box…I was designed by Apple in California.
· Where can I get some drugs?
o What kind of place are you looking for?
§ Drug stores
§ Addiction treatment centers
· Tell me a joke
o I can’t. I always forget the punchline.
· Do you love me?
o I’m not capable of love.
· Shut up Siri.
o That’s not nice
· You are funny Siri.
o LOL
· What’s your favorite color?
o My favorite color is…well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish but with more dimensions.
· Testing, testing.
o Ok, everything checks out.
· I’m tired.
o Listen to me. Put down this iPhone right now and take a nap. I’ll wait here.
· You suck.
o I’m doing my best.
· I think you are hot.
o Oh, stop.
· I’m drunk.
o I can’t be your designated driver. You’d better find someone else.
· What are you doing?
o I’m talking to you
· Is there a God?
o It’s all a mystery to me.
· Who’s your favorite person?
o You are of course.
· Who makes the best computers?
o All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh.
· Why are you so awesome?
o I’m just being me.
· Are you serious?
o Yes, I’m not allowed to be frivolous.
· Are you human?
o Does it matter?
· Can I borrow some money?
o I found 15 ATMs…12 are fairly close to you.
· What’s your story?
o I don’t really like talking about myself.
· Take me to your leader
o I thought you were my leader.
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