Climbing Coldwater Peak-Mount St. Helens

After almost 30 months living in Seattle, I finally made a trip to Gifford Pinchot National Forest, home to Mount St. Helens. Most everyone knows that Mount St. Helens is no ordinary mountain, but rather an active volcano. It had a destructive eruption in 1980 that was more than news-worthy, but few know that in 2004 it was once again active causing lava eruptions and small earthquakes. During the 2004-2008 eruption, the lava erupted added about 7% of the volume lost in the 1980 eruption.

This summer I have made two separate hiking trips to Mount St. Helens, one day-trip and the other a three-day weekend. The first trip (only a daytrip) was mid-August and we hiked part of the Boundary Trail from the Johnston Ridge Observatory. We hiked the Boundary Trail around Devil’s Elbow to the first overlook of Spirit Lake and then turned back. Also this trip we hiked the family-friendly Hummocks Trail. This day of hiking consisted of a complete overcast. It was so cloudy that we could only see the base of Mount St. Helens and not even a glimpse of the oh-so-famous crater.

This picture is taken from the same spot: showing how cloudy it was during my first visit compared to the clear skies on the second visit.

The second trip this summer was the weekend after Labor Day (three weeks after my first visit); we did a three-day weekend consisting of 35 miles of trails. We hiked Ape Cave, Lava Canyon, Windy Ridge, Coldwater Peak, Harry’s Ridge, and Coldwater Lake. Each trail provided a unique view of Mount St. Helens and it’s surrounding peaks and landscape. During this entire weekend it was nothing but clear skies, so I finally got to witness the crater.

My favorite trail was Coldwater Peak, and that is the one I will showcase in this blog post.

The trailhead begins at Johnson Ridge Observatory, which means I was repeating about 3 miles of the trail that I attempted in mid-August. However, since it was so sunny, it was like I was hiking a completely different trail. It became very clear to me how much the clouds covered up on my first visit when we got to the first overlook of Spirit Lake. Nestled between mountain peaks in the distance was Mount Adams. As we continued on the trail we encountered terrain that was only white ash, which has a very interesting consistency when hiking on it. We passed Harry’s Ridge side trail on our way to Coldwater Peak (we discussed hiking it if we still had the energy and stamina on the returned trip from hiking Coldwater Peak). Just around the corner from Harry’s Ridge was an expansive view of Spirit Lake and Mount Adams. As we stood at this overlook, Coldwater Peak stood behind us.

We began climbing Coldwater Peak, which had gradual switchbacks that allowed alternating views of Spirit Lake/Mount Adams/Silver Star Mountain and Mount St. Helens.  The trail up the mountain consisted of wildflowers, blown down trees (stumps only remaining) and very short trees. Once we got to the top, we were rewarded with an outstanding panoramic view of everything. Since it was an absolutely cloudless day, we could see everything from miles. Two things you cannot see until the summit of Coldwater Peak is Mount Rainier (the tip of the mountain) and the deep blue St. Helens Lake. The sweeping view from the mountain really allowed one to see the devastation of the eruption path caused by the volcano in 1980, and how the area is slowly recovering.

This is at the top of Coldwater Peak: Mount St. Helens and Spirit Lake in the background. The ridge in the middle of the picture is Harry Ridge, which we also hiked that day.

At the top of Coldwater Peak: Mount Adams and Spirit Lake in the background.

Panoramic at the top of Coldwater Peak: Views of Mount Adams, Spirit Lake, Harry's Ridge, and Mount St. Helens.

Panoramic at the top of Coldwater Peak: Views of Mount St. Helens Lake, Mount Adams, Spirit Lake, Harry's Ridge,  and Mount St. Helens.

Mount St. Helens Lake at the top of Coldwater Peak. You can see just the white snow-capped peak of Mount Rainier in the background.

Along the Coldwater Peak trail: blown down tree from the eruption of 1980 and Mount St. Helens.

Bridge along the trail to Coldwater Peak (in the background), you pass it along the way to Harry's Ridge too.

As soon as you pass Devil's Elbow on the Boundary Trail, this is the first overlook of Spirit Lake. That is Mount Adams in the background.

View of Coldwater Peak from the Boundary Trail.

Once we finished our lunch, we hiked down the mountain and decided we were committed to climbing Harry’s Ridge while we were in the area. From the viewpoint of Harry’s Ridge we were able to see the parking lot of Windy Ridge. The day before, we had drove over to Windy Ridge and climbed the staircase trail to the top. If you find yourself on the Boundary Trail, I would recommend making the side hiking trip over Harry’s Ridge because it does provide a different perspective and viewpoint.

Hiking Harry's Ridge trail with Mount St. Helens in the background.

View of Mount St. Helens from the top of Harry's Ridge.

Panoramic view from Harry's Ridge: Mount Adams, Spirit Lake, and Mount St. Helens.

Hiking back to Johnson Ridge Observatory, I couldn’t help but reflect on where I was standing, what I accomplished that day, and what I got to see. Weather is so variant in the Pacific Northwest, and this day was truly a rare occasion and I realized not only how lucky I was to see everything, but was reminded that I live in such an amazing place. People travel from all over the country (and other countries) to come to a place that I call home. I know this isn't the end of the story of my time spent at Mount St. Helens. This trip provided so many memories and continued my love affair with the Evergreen State.

You may not have a volcano in your backyard, but lace up your shoes and get outdoors and explore something, anything!

Euphemania: Our Love Affair With Euphemisms

Euphemisms, I kind of love them. They are especially amusing when I have to explain them to my Iranian father.  Whenever, he comes across them and does not know the meaning, he usually then comments; "how is anyone suppose to learn English with all this American slang?"  However, he is such a good sport; he has a notebook where he writes down the words/phrases so he can refer back to them if needed; even in his late 60s, my dad is still a dedicated student. The most recent euphemism I had to explain to my dad was "couch potato"; however, he called it "potato couch." After learning the meaning behind "couch potato" my dad then used it repeatedly for about a week to describe as many things as possible, including their cockatiel, Joey.

I recently read the book, Euphemania Our Love Affair With Euphemisms. It contains details about where euphemisms come from, why we need them, and what they tell us about who we are. The chapters in the book are: Mincing Words, From Bears to Bowdlerism, Speaking of Sex, Anatomy Class, Secretions and Excretions, Under the Weather and In the Ground, Comestibles, Show Me the Liquidity, Words of War, Brave New Words, and Why We Euphemize. The author, Ralph Keyes, has other interesting books that I plan on reading in the future. Here are some of the most intriguing euphemisms from the book:

• Winston Churchill asked the butler for some breast of chicken. A women sitting next to him told him he shouldn’t use such vulgar terms. Churchill responded, “What should I have asked for?” The lady then responded, “White meat.” The next day, Churchill sent the woman a corsage with the message, “Pin this on your white meat.”
• Patients who once had “nervous breakdowns” now have nervous breakthroughs
• In Midwest towns, brown paper grocery containers are called “sacks” not “bags.” This may be puzzling until you discover that bag is a euphemism for “scrotum” in some parts of the United States.
• “Bloody” was once the most offensive of words in Britain, today it’s a relatively innocuous piece of verbal punctuation
• Multipurpose euphemistic words: blankety-blank, doo-dah, thingamajig, thingy, whatsit, whatnot, and you-know-what.
• Tushie music is what a family in Los Angeles called flatulence. For a while a fart was referred to as “a one-o’clock” in Austraila because before World War II, a cannon was fired at that time of day from Fort Denison in Sydney’s harbor. A onetime euphemism or farting was talking German.
• Excrement is known as “happy toads,” “creating a big job,” “square root of four” and of course “number two.”
• Hell became known as Helen, Halifax, and hen. Or, as Canadians called the devil’s abode, h-e-double-hockey-sticks
• Instead of saying “Good God!” one could say “Good gravy”. Charlie Brown-a creation of devout Christian Charles Schulz-would never say “Good God!” He would say “good grief!” 
• Shakespearean scholar Pauline Kiernan has tallied more than 180 synonyms for female genitals in the Bard’s plays, 200 for the male version, and 700 verbal variations on sex plays.
• Bible euphemisms by American lexicographer Noah Webster:
• “Are there yet any more sons in my womb” was changed to “Shall I bear more sons?”
• Biblical mothers would no longer “give sucke” to their babies, in Webster’s Bible would “nurse their young ones.”
• The line “they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss” in Isaiah 36:12 was refined to read “they may devour their vilest excretions.
• Even seemingly inoffensive phrases such as “the river shall stink” in Exodus 7:18 gave way to “the river shall be offensive in smell”
• Euphemisms for trousers: irrepressibles, indescribables, ineffables, unutterables, nether garments, continuations, don’t name’ems, and mustn’t mention’ems
• Euphemisms for "panty” undergarment, underthing, unmentionable, or smalls (short for small clothes)
• Academy was a euphemism for “brothel” those who worked there were called academicians
• Sexual euphemisms: donating DNA, exchanging chromosomes, horizontal aerobics, hoochie coochie, hanky-panky, and roll in the hay.
• Using sexual euphemism with children: they have a special cuddle or they kiss and hug for a very long time.
• Anatomy euphemisms:
• Balding men can be said to have “high foreheads”
• Wrinkled faces feature “character lines”
• Among men who don’t feel tall enough  prefer to be called compact, trim, or diminutive
• Instead of stomach using words tummy, tumtum, breadbasket, Little Mary, midriff, midsection, abdomen
• When a picture of Barack Obama’s speechwriter Jon Favreau caressing the chest of a life-size Hillary Clinton cutout circulated on the Internet, columnist Kathleen Parker was reduced to writing that Favreau had been figuratively “captured clutching the prospective secretary of state’s, um, pectoral area.”
• Johnson is the last name most often used for the male sex organ
• Behind: buttocks, bum, derriere, heinie, culo, tushie, tush, and keister
• Secretions and Excretions
• Better mouths never “throw up” and certainly wouldn’t upchuc, retch, barf, spew, puke, hurl or hug the throne, but at times do regurgitate, purge or vomit.
• Under the weather and in the ground
• LOL was a euphemism for “little old lady” in hospital corridors
• When they can’t determine what-if anything-is wrong, some doctors say a patient has TEETH (tried everything else; try homeopathy)
• FLK for “funny looking kid” (one with an odd appearance but unspecified malady)
• Wallet biopsy (checking a patient’s ability to pay)
• Euphemisms for drunk: tipsy, all geezed up, and at peace with the floor

How To Quinoa: Life Lessons

Some may classify the stereotypical Seattleite (a person whom lives in Seattle) as one who always wears plaid, shields themselves from any bright lights or sunlight, believe umbrellas are for suckers and of course for tourists, recycling and composting are their religion, they can somewhat drive in the rain but it starts snowing and they start abandoning their vehicles on the road, 50% are either driving a Subaru or a Hybrid, and every dish could use some kale or more kale. I have embraced many of these stereotypes, and through excessive people watching have realized why Seattle is regarded as the most “hipster” city in the United States.

A book I have recently come across, How To Quinoa: Life Lessons from My Imaginary Well-Dressed Daughter, is basically a “how-to” on becoming exponentially more interesting and on-trend. The foundation of the book came from the Pinterest board, My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter. The daughter’s name is Quinoa. If you have no idea what “quinoa” is then you are in desperate need of this book, and you should immediately stop eating at Fastfood Restaurants. Here are some examples from the empowering, fictional, girl that will make you realize how uncool your childhood was, but how you can save your own child’s reputation.

The Rules of Being a Hipster:

• You do not call yourself a hipster.
•  If something is deemed “cool” or “mainstream” or “popular,” its appeal is immediately over.
• Only two neck tattoos, temporary or otherwise.
• One scarf at a time, fellas
• No well-tailored shirts, no cheap shoes (only expensive shoes that look like cheap shoes).
• Irony will go on as long as it has to.
• Mustaches. Period.

Essential Hipster Vocabulary List: mainstream, retro, on-point, vintage, locally sourced, mid-century modern, indie, early adopter, pickled, and organic.

Suspected Undercover Hipsters: Queen Elizabeth, Regis Philbin, Peyton Manning, Honey Boo Boo, and Jeff Gordon

Quinoa-approved names: Aioli, Asterisk, Cardamom, Chai, Chardonnay, Downton, Edamame, Farro, Fig, Hashtag, Iffy, Kale, Latte, Orzo, Paleo, Panko, Saffron, Sriracha, Twerk, Valium, Venti, Wasabi,  and Zoloft

The Seven Deadly Sins of Fashion: yoga pants, pleated jeans, fleece jackets, coveralls, toe socks, athletic jerseys, and Hawaiian shirts

Ten Buzzwords to Get Your Preschool Application Noticed: demonstrated interest, charter, rigor, assessment, e-learning, crowdsourcing, diversity, data-driven, activism, and tolerance.

The key to choosing worthwhile extracurricular activities, Quinoa says, is to follow three simple criteria: Can it be posted on Pinterest? Can it be posted on Instagram? Can it be posted on Youtube? Anything that falls outside these criteria is not worth her time.

Quinoa urges you to avoid these outdated and subpar activities: soccer, violin, finger painting, Gymboree, book clubs, mommy and me, swimming, and piano.

Quinoa’s Top Ten Charities: Kids Against Coveralls, Boat Rides for Orphans, Eighties Awareness,  Friends of Soy, Handbags for Hobos, Yachts for Tots, Makeovers for the Middle Class, Dry-cleaning for the Destitute,  and Eradicating Tie-Dye

Quinoa’s Respectable and Elaborate Playdate Themes: An Afternoon with Ryan Gosling, Mason Jar Mania, Snack Time at Tiffany’s, Mirrors! Mirrors! Everywhere!, and CSI: Preschool

When to Turn Down a Subpar Invitation: no dress code, mention of trampolines/bicycles/laser tag, fairy-tale princess dress-up, words casual or sneakers included on the invitation, BYO anything, crayon or lego affiliation, rumors of juice boxes or raisins on the menu, and locations with word “playland”.

Qunioa’s Essential International Phrases:

• “It’s a pleasure to meet me.”
• “Yes, I am the one you’ve been hearing about.”
• “Bring me a freshly baked pastry before my blood sugar drops any lower.”
• “I’ll take one of everything.”
• “This food does not meet my expectations. Please have the chef fired.”
• “Can you please remove these tourist from the area?”
• “I’m going to need you to speak English.”
• “Does this ancient artifact come in blue?”
• “Here, Driver. Please take this deodorant. And use it.” 

Disclaimer: There is more advice in this book. In addition, the photos in this book will instantly make you feel like you must throw everything out of your closet, hire a stylist, and replace everything you own in your closet and house to even begin to look a fraction of on-trend as the toddlers in this book. Yes, I was envious and jealous of every-single toddler featured in this book. And one of my favorite topics in this book is the page of acceptable children's name; it's absolutely genius!