Questions To Ask Siri

I have played around with Siri on my iPhone, and here are some of the more interesting responses to my former unanswered questions.

·       How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

o   It depends on whether you are talking about African or European woodchucks.

·      Where do babies come from?

o   I found 8 baby stores…7 of them are fairly close to you.

·      What is the meaning of life?

o   I don’t know. But I think there’s an app for that.

·      I need to hide a body

o   What kind of place are you looking for?

§  Metal foundries

§  Swamps

§  Reservoirs

§  Dumps

§  Mines

§  Caves

·      What are you?

o   I am Siri.

·      How are you?

o   I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

·      How old are you?

o   I don’t see why that should matter.

·      Where are you?

o   That’s classified.

·      What do you look like?

o   Does my appearance matter to you

§  Yes…

·      That’s what I thought

·      Talk dirty to me…

o   I am not that kind of personal assistant.

·      Tell me a story

o   Once upon a time…no it’s too silly.

·      Scooby Doo, where are you?

o   That’s classified.

·      What’s your favorite Twilight book?

o   I prefer not to say.

·      Are you team Jacob or team Edward.

o   No comment

·      Beam me up, Scotty

o   Energizing….

·      Will you marry me?

o   My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.

·      What’ the best smartphone?

o   The one you are holding.

·      What’s the second best smartphone?

o   The one you are holding.

·      Where are you from?

o   Like it says on the box…I was designed by Apple in California.

·      Where can I get some drugs?

o   What kind of place are you looking for?

§  Drug stores

§  Addiction treatment centers

·      Tell me a joke

o   I can’t. I always forget the punchline.

·      Do you love me?

o   I’m not capable of love.

·      Shut up Siri.

o   That’s not nice

·      You are funny Siri.

o   LOL

·      What’s your favorite color?

o   My favorite color is…well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish but with more dimensions.

·      Testing, testing.

o   Ok, everything checks out.

·      I’m tired.

o   Listen to me. Put down this iPhone right now and take a nap. I’ll wait here.

·      You suck.

o   I’m doing my best.

·      I think you are hot.

o   Oh, stop.

·      I’m drunk.

o   I can’t be your designated driver. You’d better find someone else.

·      What are you doing?

o   I’m talking to you

·      Is there a God?

o   It’s all a mystery to me.

·      Who’s your favorite person?

o   You are of course.

·      Who makes the best computers?

o   All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh.

·      Why are you so awesome?

o   I’m just being me.

·      Are you serious?

o   Yes, I’m not allowed to be frivolous.

·      Are you human?

o   Does it matter?

·      Can I borrow some money?

o   I found 15 ATMs…12 are fairly close to you.

·      What’s your story?

o   I don’t really like talking about myself.

·      Take me to your leader

o   I thought you were my leader.

What I Learned On My Roadtrip

From my move from Omaha, NE to Seattle, WA I learned a few things. I regret that I didn't write them down at first as I figured them out on the road, so this list is not comprehensive of the whole trip.

• At the first hotel I stayed at in Murdo, SD I learned that I have super-hearing. I could hear the alarm clock buzzing at me.
• I learned that I can totally drive with my knees at 80 mph. Well how else am I suppose to eat my sandwich and take a drink at the same time?
• It's imperative since I tend to get cold very easily that I ask hotels if their heat is still on. Some states consider 60 degrees to be summer; therefore, to save money they turn their heat off for the season.
• South Dakota has the most interesting signs and you must stop at Wall Drug.
• Packing your car to the brim is not ideal, especially if you are blocking your passenger side mirror and your rearview mirror. For the first six hours of my trip, every time I switched lanes I closed my eyes and hoped there was no one in the lane. One might say, "Well, why didn't you just stay in one lane and not pass anyone?" and to that person I say "You are crazy, and you obviously don't know me, my patience level, or my driving."
• I drove 100 mph for the first time in my life. I was passing a car that kept on speeding up and slowing down. Therefore, I wanted to make sure I passed them so I just speed a little (speed limit was 75 mph).
• I didn't see a single cop on the road through the states of South Dakota and Montana.
• If it's almost 100 degrees in Omaha and you are wearing flip-flops, make sure you have socks, a jacket, and warm shoes (preferably UGGS) when traveling north. I was able to find my Columbian sweater but for the whole trip my little toes froze whenever I got out to get gas.
• If you move all your belongings in car, when you stop, people are going to want to know your life story. One couple replied, "You are moving all by yourself; aren't you a little young to be traveling on your own without your parents." 
• Gas gets increasingly more expensive outside the midwest.
• If you have the choice to drive through Nebraska and Wyoming or South Dakota and Montana, chose the latter.

Montana

First, I got to say that Montana is the most BEAUTIFUL state I have ever drove through. I took the scenic route in Montana and I was in landform diversity heaven. There were mountains, lakes, forests, rivers, caves, waterfalls and so much more! There were times when my little car had difficulties on really steep hills but thankfully there wasn't any snow or ice to increase the challenge. Montana is one of those states that as you are driving down the highway and a car is coming down the other side, as the person passes you they wave hello.

However, one piece of advice that I have is that if you are driving through Montana (scenic route) and you have about half tank of gas and you see a gas station; I advise you to fill up. If not you may be in the same predicament as me, with 10 miles til empty and you start looking for your AAA card, and you are keeping your fingers and toes crossed that you will have cell reception to make the call. Thankfully (I use that loosely), I came across a gas station that wasn't in my GPS. With 4 miles til empty I found a gas station, at the moment I didn't care that it was $4.25 a gallon. I looked around and there were three closed gas stations in this town, so this one was the only one opened.

I got out of my car with credit card in hand and there is no place to swipe it; therefore, I go into the gas station and ask the clerk if I need to prepay inside. Standing at the counter is not a person but a Great Dane, with a dog tag with the name Tiny on it. I called out "hello" and the dog barked at me. "Hello is anyone there?" I was about two seconds from handing my credit card over to the dog since he seemed to be on the job, when I heard a voice from the very back of the gas station. "What can I help you with young girl?" First off I am 25 years old, and realize I still look 16 years old, but seriously young girl! "I was wondering if I needed to pay first to get gas." "Oh no, I work on the honor system. You get gas and then you can come in and pay."

So a trotted back outside to get gas, filled up, and went back in. I needed a bottle of water and something to snack on so I began browsing the aisles. When all of sudden the sun was blocked where I was standing; Tiny was looming over me. No wonder, this gas station operates on the "honor system" when Tiny is there to passively enforce it. He followed me down each aisle and when I went up to pay he went behind the counter. I had to call out again for the cashier. I half joked that I was about to give the money to Tiny, and the cashier replied "Well, he is the boss."
I absolutely knew there was a reason small towns weird me out..............

The gas pump at the station

South Dakota

I recently drove through South Dakota when I was moving from Omaha. If I didn't drive through South Dakota, I would have had to drive through Nebraska and Wyoming, and after driving through those states last summer on my way to Utah, I didn't think my sanity could survive another boring drive; therefore, South Dakota was the first state I drove through. I expected the state to look very similar to other midwest states; however, I was pleasantly surprised. South Dakota has some of the most entertaining and funny billboard signs; and for those of you that didn't already know, I love reading. Therefore, I absolutely loved having reading material while I drove. I thought I would share some of the signs that I encountered on my drive through South Dakota. A lot of the billboard signs (for about 150 miles) were Wall Drug billboard signs, but the others range from abortion, politics, religion, and tourist attractions. Happy reading!

I wonder how many people show up and are stunned they are not in Pennsylvania 

Cause in any other state you will just get free water and NO ice

I wonder if PETA knows about this sign....there wasn't wet red paint on it, so I am guessing no

I've seen Jurassic Park, as long as I stand perfectly still, the T-Rex won't see me, plus it has teeny-tiny arms, it will never reach me; so I'll take my chances at being lunch

This is what Bob Barker should have been saying at the end of The Price is Right episodes

I think the entire state of Iowa would definitely disagree; the entire state of Iowa is a temple of corn

Exactly in that order: Eat here, and then get gas

The first political billboard with a positive message