Sunday, January 8, 2017

How cold Iowa is...

I received the below email forward back in January 2007. At that time I was going to undergrad at a northern Iowa college. I found it to be amusing and printed it out then. I am currently recycling a lot of the paper in my apartment, and thought this would be appropriate for a blog post to share with fellow Midwesterns, plus now I can recycle the paper since it is digitized on here!

60 above zero
Arizonians turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

50 above zero
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Cedar Rapids sunbathe.

40 above zero
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Iowa drive with their windows down.

32 above zero
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Des Moines gets thicker.

20 above zero
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0 degrees
People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.

10 below zero
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

25 below zero
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
People in Iowa start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero
Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open two hours late.

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