Hey, it's OK....

Currently I am in Missouri visiting my parents. One of the reason I flew home is that I am finally moving all of my furniture and boxes that I have been storing at my parents's house since my move from Omaha to Seattle. Thankfully, I hired a professional moving van lines so there will not be any amusing near death Uhaul posts on this blog of me driving cross country. I am going through my boxes and getting rid of things, and I came across a box that had torn magazine pages in it. Upon closer inspection, I saw that all the pages were from Glamour magazines from 2007-2010. All the pages were from the "life & happiness 100% guilt-free page." On average this page had 5-10 guilt-free statements. I have put my favorite ones on this post. Remember, since these pages are from issues from 2007-2010 some are a little outdated but still amusing in my opinion. While reading each statement, make sure you put a "Hey, it's ok..." in front of it.

Hey, it's OK.....

• To count candy corn as a vegetable.
• Not to buy soap, jelly beans, batteries and shampoo (things you don't need) just so you don't walk up to the counter holding only a pregnancy test. The checkout guy is not going to call your mother.
• To high-five a complete stranger who's wearing your team's gear.
• If you've never felt a "runner's high." Unless you mean the high you feel when you stop running.
• To kindly ask men to stop saying, " We're pregnant."
• If there's not a name for your haircut. It's just the "you."
• If your idea of an extreme sport is driving around on a quarter tank of gas.
• To hold on to the dress you "borrowed" till she asks for it back.
• If you usually polish off the popcorn before the movie even starts.
• To view vigilant leg shaving in the same class as wearing white linen: necessary between Memorial Day and Labor Day only.
• If you still get flustered when the bra department saleslady feels you up.
• To check yourself out in the surveillance mirror at the ATM. Hello, foxy!
• If you'd rather watch Sex and the City reruns than half of the new shows on TV.
• To carry a 10-year-old battered wallet in your $350 Coach bag.
• If there are more clothes piled on your bedroom chair than hanging  in your closet.
• To make everyone feel your head when you think you have a fever.
• That you like to be seen doing the crossword in pen, even when you have to scribble over each answer three times.
• That you have no idea what "http," "html" or "url" actually stand for. (HyperText Transfer Protocol, Hypertext Markup Language and Uniform Resource Locator. Feel smarter? You're welcome.)
• If the main reason you're excited about the Super Bowl is the barbecue wings.
• If all the "art" on your walls comes from Crate and Barrel.
• To have a strict no-bed-making policy on weekends.
• To only polish the two toes sticking out of your peep toes.
• To give everyone in first class the evil eye as you pass by.
• To secretly hope the barista accidentally uses full-fat milk in your latte.
• To take offense at whatever follows "Hey, no offense..."
• To consider Spanx an exercise plan.
• To not let your nephew beat you at Candy Land. The kid's gotta grow up eventually.
• To still not be able to drive a stick.
• To ask every one of your friends for advice, then do exactly the opposite.
• To consider yourself the most sophisticated woman since Audrey Hepburn, but still sleep with stuffed animals.
• To ignore any e-mail with a subject line beginning, "FWD: FWD:FWD."
• To wonder whether Indiana Jones is a little too old to be traipsing around like that.
• To say, "Oh it's vintage" when someone compliments you on the Wet Seal sundress you've been wearing since high school.
• To get it with fries.
• To have never quite mastered that public-toilet hovering move.
• To skip the whole "I hope we can still be friends" charade. You have friends.
• To like the villainess more than the heroine.
• To ask the sweaty dude at the gym to wipe off that machine.
• To take every single personal day, holiday and sick day you're entitled to.
• If you've held on to your job and your friends for years--but lose your umbrella practically every time it rains.
• If you learned all the fancy French words you know from a menu.
• To shamelessly beg the guy at the DMV to do your photo. Again.
• To take the bigger piece.
• To discover all your new music courtesy of THE HILLS.
• To take a quick YouTube break at work. A sneezing panda can really clear the head.
• To laugh inappropriately every time Maury says, "Billy Bob...you are the father."
• To wish you came equipped with guy GPS. ("Turn left at the next man to avoid heartbreak. Recalculating!")
• To decide that if wearing Uggs is wrong, you don't want to be right.
• To shove it in the closet and consider your place cleaned.
• To pretend to text message to get out of talking with that hyper-chatty person standing next to you. It's called communi-faking, and we all do it.
• To say it's homemade. You opened the box, you mixed, you cared.
• To do a little Internet cheating--er, research--before book club.
• To call your mother, oh, approximately three times per recipe.
• To not act fun and personable until two cups of coffee. Not one. Not one and a half. Exactly two.
• To wait in line at the ice cream truck, surrounded by people three and a half feet tall.
• If your iPod is full of singers who were born in the 1990s. What? No need for age discrimination.
• Not to even know the names of your favorite restaurants. "The Mexican place by the road near the thing" works just fine.
• If the only thing keeping you from getting a dog is, frankly, the poop.
• To press 0 to speak to a live human every single time.
• To believe your scale in the morning, but not at night.
• To think that hat head is deadlier than frostbite.
• That when the delivery guy arrives with an especially large order of Chinese food, you call out "Food's here!"--to an empty house.
• If people who are tan in the middle of winter kind of freak you out.
• If you've tried deep breathing, yoga and mediation, and still find that screaming into a pillow is the best stress relief there is.
• If the closest you'll ever get to skinny-dipping is running through a sprinkler without your shoes on.
• To skim the front-page headlines but read every word of pieces like "Zoo Gives Panda Viagra."
• To spend 30 minutes in the museum and an hour in the gift shop.
• To think about the burrito you're going to down for dinner all through your yoga class.
• To base your March Madness picks on which mascot is the furriest and cutest. (Heart that UConn husky!)
• If you still need to think "righty tighty, lefty lossey" to screw and unscrew stuff.
• To have popcorn for dinner every once in a while. It's a whole grain!
• To think that the solution for dying batteries is pressing harder on the remote.
• To have an inexplicable compulsion to hoard matchbooks from fancy restaurants (even if you're not a smoker).
• To change into your pajamas the second you get home from work.
• If your idea of ironing is hanging your clothes up in the bathroom and taking a really long, hot shower.
• If every now and then you still feel like giving your sister a good pinch.
• To take everything off before stepping on the scale--underwear, jewelry, ponytail holder.
• If you always have to peek at the person next to you at the dinner party to remember which fork to use first.