101 Places NOT to See

I have currently just finished reading the book, 101 Places Not to See Before You Die by Catherine Price. As a person who loves to travel I was curious if I had visited any of the places mentioned in the book. I have been to 5/101 places (Wall Drug, Mount Rushmore, Seattle Gum Wall, Las Vegas and the sidewalk outside the Roman Coliseum during Crazy Gladiator's shift).

Here are some of the memorable places that I do NOT have the travel bug to explore:

• The Testicle Festival: A festival dedicated to bull testicles that attracts 15,000 people that has the slogan "Come Have A Ball."
• The Beijing Museum of Tap Water: A 2001 edict required the city to open 150 new museums by 2008; hence this museum along with museums devoted to goldfish, honeybees, and red sandalwood. 
• An interesting fact in this chapter is that in 2007 Beijing was the first Chinese city whose water officially passed a test for 106 contaminants; but is still unsafe to drink.
• An Overnight Stay at a Korean Temple: After reading this chapter I know I am absolutely not cut out to be a monk
• Other museums to not visit are the Needle Museum (in England) and the Tupperware Museum.
• The Blarney Stone: And here the Rolling Stones thought they saw the most kissing action obviously were not aware of this famous stone that gets approximately 400,000 kissing visitors that risk contracting STDs for some good luck...Luck of the Irish, I don't think so....
• Fucking Austria: a village that refuses to change it's name because it's annual GDP is highly dependent on it's T-shirt sales. Also there is a Newfoundland town that is called Dildo, home of the Dildo Museum, and holds the Historic Dildo Days summer event.
• Any Place Whose Primary Claim to Fame is a Large Fiberglass Thing: This includes a Big Banana in Australia. For those of you that do not know I absolutely loathe bananas. I have even posted about my abhorrence for bananas in other blog postings.  
• Manneken Pis: Means "little pee man" that has a sister statue called Jeanneke Pis
• The Annual Poison Oak Show: Festival that involves the Best Arrangement of Poison Oak, Best Poison Oak Accessory or Jewelry, Most Original Poison Oak Dish, and Best Photo of Poison Oak Rash. This show is another reason why I despise plants (I don't stereotype, I hate ALL plants) and this is why when I own a yard I will replace the grass with concrete....no mowing the grass for me.
• The Next Eruption of the Yellowstone Supervolcano: Between the volcano that is due to erupt (it erupts every 600,000 to 700,000 years and it's been 640,000) and the major fault line that in the past has caused an entire mountain to collapse, I have decided that Yellowstone Park is getting removed from my Bucket List of Things to do Before I Die, because I would most likely die there. I love nature and hiking, but not that much!
• The Bottom of a Pig Lagoon: I have concluded that this is the worst way to die; it has been know to wipe out entire families.
• Fun fact: The average pig produces three times as much feces as your average human and it all ends up in a lagoon along with other "goodies".

My overall review of the book is that I learned a lot of informational tidbits; however, I was reading it initially for comic value. There was definitely parts that made me giggle, but not as much as I had anticipated.

Way-Too-Early Christmas Song and Traditions

This may get me labeled as an absolute Grinch, but today (November 5th) while I was driving and listening to the radio, the song "White Christmas" came on; I couldn't believe it!  Halloween just ended less than a week ago and it's already Christmas time; each year the Christmas holiday seems to start earlier and earlier. At this rate, I can envision after Valentine's Day that the aisles in department stores will be filled with candy canes, wrapping paper and fake snow.

Now that it is November I must prepare myself to be constantly reminded that Christmas is just around the corner; therefore, for my coping mechanism to deal with the extremely too early Christmas celebration that starts every year, I have come up with my ideal pre-Christmas celebrations:

• Christmas songs cannot begin to be played on the radio until it snows or when Thanksgiving is over
• Christmas decorations should not be in aisles of stores until the week of Thanksgiving; having them stocked in the store the day after Halloween is far too early 
• Holiday music albums should not come out until the month of December
• Stores should not have Christmas sales until at least Black Friday
• Starbucks Holiday Red Cups do not come out until December, NOT November. I do not wish to look at Santa and Frosty while I am enjoying the fall weather of the leaves changing while downing my coffee
• Santa hats should not be worn until December because I keep thinking I am seeing "Where's Waldo" around town and it shouldn't be that easy to spot him
• It is never okay to tie jingle bells onto children shoes; although I appreciate the warning that a child is approaching, the constant jingling is causing me to have pre-hypertension symptoms and I am only 26 years old
• Animals should not already be subjected to being put in holiday costumes; if you wouldn't wear it than you shouldn't put it on your pet
• Nativity sets should not be out in front of religious establishments until the month of December
• Do not wish a "Merry Christmas" to people until the middle of December....and why is every other holiday "happy" (i.e. Happy Easter, Happy Thanksgiving) but Christmas gets a "merry"?
• Egg Nog should be discontinued all together and so should Fruit Cake...no one has ever said "yum Fruit Cake"?
• Respect the Thanksgiving Turkey and do not put up Christmas decoration until after Thanksgiving, and don't use the excuse "well I want to put them up before the weather gets bad"
• Caroling is absolutely not allowed until December
• Christmas list making is not permitted until December
• Santa sightings at stores should not be until the month of December
• The time frame for parents to tell kids if they aren't good then Santa will bring them coal is December 1st-December 23rd
• October is the month for carving pumpkins, November is the month for killing turkeys, and December is the month for cutting down trees

I found the lyrics to the Way-Too-Early Christmas Song:
It’s not December
It’s barely even November
Outside it’s still too warm for snow to fall
Halloween was yesterday
And winter’s still a ways away
But try to tell that to the folks down at the mall
Inside’s a winter wonderland
I’m sorry, I don’t understand
‘cause mistletoe on Veteran’s Day seems wrong
But the shops are filled with Christmas cheer
And on the speakers, all you hear
Is the way-too-early Christmas song
Leaves just started changing
But the stores are rearranging
Their décor to wintry Christmas themes
See the red and green displays:
“Just 58 more shopping days”
And cardboard elves are planting plastic trees
Jesus in his manger cradle
Plus a little token dreidel
In a big display next to the Cinnabon
With three wise men and gifts they bring
Just plug them in, and they all sing
The way-too-early Christmas song
I know you need to satisfy your investors
But couldn’t you wait at least until the Savior’s third trimester?
Finally, just outside the Master-Cuts
Was Santa, and that fat bastard’s
“Ho ho ho”-ing drove me up the wall
Something snapped, I lost control
And kicked him square in his North Pole
And as he dropped, I decked him in his halls
So, my friends, I wish you well
From the mall security holding cell
I hope that they don’t keep me here too long
May you and yours find peace and love
Unless you are the writer of
The way-too-early Christmas song

Halloween Humor & Politics

Seattle Arboretum: Autumn

Leaves changing from green to vibrant colors is the best part of Autumn. Nothing feels more comforting than taking a walk and being surrounded by changing trees and falling leaves while wearing a jacket and a scarf. As children, most of us despised having to partake in the chore of raking leaves; but nothing was more joyful than jumping in piles of raked leaves. I still at 26 years old kick small piles of leaves on sidewalks and am filled with pleasure when the leaves flutter back to the ground. Something so innocent takes me back to cherished childhood memories.

Therefore, I was definitely looking forward to exploring the Arboretum for the first time during Autumn. The Arboretum is located less than a block from my work so I parked there and walked with my friend and we began doing the trails. There were some trees that were already completely turned, and then there were trees in transition (half turn half green). Trees in transition are by far my favorite; you see the past, present and future all in one tree.

With the changing of the leaves plenty of people were out taking pictures with their kids and families. One of the most interesting spots to see at the Arboretum is the "Musical Trees." It's just a small area but with the way water was flowing it was so serene to hear; it sounded just like someone playing a harp in my opinion.

One could easily spend half a day walking throughout the Arboretum but I truly couldn't imagine a more breathtaking time to visit than during Autumn. For those that live in areas that deprive you of experiencing the most amazing season of the year in my opinion; you have my deepest sympathies. Fall is the one season that I cannot live without in my year!

Stairway off the main trail

Graham Visitor Center

Pond off Azealia Pathway

In front of a fully changed tree :)

So many interesting vibrant colors

The beauty of Nature

Canadian T-shirt: Hockey > Women

Hockey and Canada go together like two peas in a pod. While I was walking downtown Victoria, I saw this t-shirt and definitely found it amusing...hopefully you will find it amusing as well! Due to the reflection in the window I went ahead and type it out as well to make it easier to read, enjoy.

1. In hockey, everyone likes it rough.
2. You only get 5 minutes for fighting.
3. Puck is not a dirty word.
4. You don't have to play in the neutral zone.
5. It's possible to score a few times a night.
6. When you pull the goalie nobody gets pregnant.
7. Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring.
8. You can always get new wood if your stick breaks.
9. The Zamboni gets to clean up the mess.
10. Periods only last 20 minutes.

And here's another amusing thing I came across while walking downtown, I think the same could be said about coffee:

Apron says: Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.

2nd Trip to Canada: Victoria, British Columbia

My first trip to Canada was a road-trip to Winnipeg, Manitoba and it did not end well. My last few moments in Canada involved being interrogated by Canadian customs, my car searched, and all of my other belongs....yes fond memories. Therefore, I was slightly hesitant to embark on another Canadian adventure; however, Seattle has so many tempting options to make the endeavor back to Canada. My dad was visiting and we thought why not try our luck and do double the dose of Hosseins for the Canadians.

Thankfully our round-trip was drama-free. My dad and I took the Victoria Clipper from Seattle to Victoria; I love how the pier is less than a 10 minute walk from my apartment.  It was lovely and convenient that the Clipper drops off passengers in downtown Victoria so there is no need for a car.

First stop in Victoria was stopping at The Empress hotel to catch our bus, the Cruise Victoria Sightseeing (CVS) which I booked on the Clipper. My advice, don't book it on the Clipper wait til you get to Victoria and then chose a different bus line. The CVS bus line clientele was filled with an older population that look like they are on their way to a bingo championship game; however, the bus drivers were hilarious. The CVS bus line has five main stops that one can get off and on at: China Town, Craigdarroch Castle, Oak Bay Village, Cook Street Village, and Beacon Hill Park. The whole tour took about 90 minutes. The bus tour involves a lot of historic real estate. Since my dad and I did not spend the night in Victoria we did not get to visit the Butchart Gardens because that tourist attraction alone is an all day event. Going to the gardens is something I definitely look forward towards visiting in my next voyage.

The Empress Hotel

The BC Parliament 

My dad and me at The Empress

On the bus beginning our tour of Victoria

Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

My First Castle: Craigdarroch Castle

I remember exactly the day that I wanted to live in a castle; it was when I watched Disney's Sleeping Beauty on VHS...ahhhh simpler times before the world of DVDs and Blu-ray. I remember one year I dressed up as Jasmine from Disney's Aladdin and imagine living in a palace. What little girl wasn't enamored with being a princess? Well, fast forward 20 years and I finally got to visit a castle, Craigdarroch Castle in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

Although this castle doesn't look like it would be fit for a Disney Princess it was still intriguing and well worth taking the stop on seeing this legendary landmark on the sightseeing bus tour.  It reminds me of the architecture of Hogwart's Castle from Harry Potter, but sadly the Castle was sans a Headless Nick. Admissions to the castle is $13.75 for adults and $8.75 for students. You will also receive a map and a short history brochure. Some of the rooms to the castle are closed, and you have to be able to climb four flights of stairs to tour the castle. I recommend allowing at least an hour to go through the castle. My dad and I just had 40 minutes until the next bus arrived, and we felt a little rushed.

Here's a little advertisement announcement from the pamphlet we received on the ferry ride from Seattle to Victoria:

Coal baron Robert Dunsmuir was the wealthiest man in British Columbia. He died in 1889, just months before Craigdarroch Castle was completed. He left his entire estate (28 acres) to his wife Joan, who lived in the Castle until her death in 1908. Their immense fortune is reflected in four floors of exquisite stained glass windows, intricate woodwork, and ornate Victorian era furnishings. The Castle speaks of the lifestyles of the very rich at the end of the 19th century. Experience breathtaking views of Victoria, the Strait of Juan de Fuca and the Olympic Mountains from high in the Castle's Tower.

As my dad and I were exiting the castle grounds, a little girl of maybe 4 or 5 years old asked, "Did you get to see the Princess inside the castle?" Now as many of you know that I am not too fond of children that I am not related to but it was the look on the girls face..wishfulness and hope; she reminded me of myself from two decades ago and so I answered her. I tried to quickly think of an answer that wouldn't disappoint the little girl but yet I wouldn't be lying either. I told her that no I didn't see a princess inside but you will to see lots of princess dresses. The little girl got super excited....and that was my good deed of the day :)

The front of the castle

My dad and I in front of the castle

Me in front of the sign that is located on the side of the castle

Stained glass window

Stained glass windows

The spiral staircase that goes up four floors

Classiest bathroom sign

Table is all set for dessert in the billiards room

View from one of the towers